I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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