Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
