so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
