using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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