Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
