You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
