just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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