Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
