it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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