I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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