If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
