I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
