Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
