i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
