hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
