You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I've blown a few things in my day
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Mom said you looked used
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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