Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
