you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
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apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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