look no pants
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
