Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
