so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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