Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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