i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
