Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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