I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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