Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
