So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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