Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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