I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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