I don't think brook has ever known best
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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