my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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