Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
