That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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