ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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