so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
