Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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