BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
