Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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