a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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