Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
