Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
