He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Randomize
