I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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