Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Mom said you looked used
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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