I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
