im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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