just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
