Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
