someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
