How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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