she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
