Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
