Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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