never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
