I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize