i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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