I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My breasts were aching with rage.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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